*Warning – this post contains F-bombs!
I narrated a version of this recently (sans profanities) to my Yoga for Pain group with a focus on how returning to yoga has enabled healing and influenced personal growth and my creative work in the last 12 months.
The night before this speech, I had nothing inspirational or educational to offer, so instead of continuing to torment myself I simply decided not to say a thing (it was optional anyway).
Bella was getting ready for bed which meant the usual bed time story (which she now reads to me!) and she chose Alice in Wonderland . We have read versions of Alice adapted to younger audience, but Bella was keen to start on the original version. To my daughter’s astonishment, only two pages in and I was running to my laptop, laughing like a mad woman, a torrent of words bursting out of me.
It was this paragraph that got me all excited (this is after Alice spots the White Rabbit):
…Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge,
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.
This inconspicuous phrase – burning with curiosity – was exactly how 2014 was for me. I reflect back to the post I wrote on 1 January and I cheer. I walked with Fear and Curiosity, firmly attached to me like barnacles to a shipwreck. I learnt to dance with the Kraken through pain and discomfort. I walked out of a wreckage called redundancy (there were no less than two in the span of 8 months!). I read a copious number of books. I completed my post grad degree. I completed a writing course, blogged more and worked steadily on the first draft on my novel. I also learnt how to come home to my own body through yoga and meditation.
Where once my mind and my body whispered frightfully “Proceed with Caution”, these days they scream PROCEED WITH CURIOSITY!.
So what do I want in 2015? More, much more of this curiosity business. Sans redundancy, of course!. Less pain would be nice too.
One thing is for sure – I will no longer be camping at the base of the sign on the crossroad between “should” and “must”. As Danielle Laporte recently wrote on her Facebook page which I’m adopting as my new mantra for 2015: Fuck the shoulds. Fuck looking good. Fuck mediocrity! Indeed, fuck it all! I’m jumping down that rabbit hole!
|Author unknown – sorry!|